The Song That Ended
by ICanSeeYourFace
Summary: Oneshot collection based on Fun.-song "Out on the Town". Ten-centric.
1. 1 The Important Thing

**A/N**: I seem to have lost my PB-inspiration again. I'm searching for it, just so you know. In the meantime, here's a series of Doctor Who-oneshots. It will consist of seven short oneshots, all centered around outtakes from the absolutely brilliant song "Out on the Town" by Fun. Ten-centered, but will mention Ten's companions. Will post one part per day, so prepare for a week of Doctor Who.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Doctor Who or the lyrics to "Out on the Town".

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_1. The Important Thing_

_I set all my regrets on fire  
__'Cause I know I'll never take the time  
__to unpack my mistakes and call all of our friends  
__I figure they would take your side_

_- Fun._

It had been a good life, the Doctor reckoned. Well, mostly. If you didn't count all the sad things. Rose in the parallel universe, Martha leaving, Donna forced to forget. But everything was fine now. Rose had him, a version of him by her side and a man who was her father in her life again. Martha had a mission and a man. Donna lived and had gotten married. Everyone would live happily ever after.

Except for him.

The regeneration energy shot through him, the excess lighting him on fire. The end was near, again. He would fade, while his missteps and misfortunes lived on, no matter how happy the ending. Rose would still be stuck in the wrong universe. Martha would still remember the mess he made that forced her to leave. Donna wouldn't remember him at all. How did they not hate him? How had he not turned into a cautionary tale, something parents scared their children with?

For all his efforts, he was still a bad influence. The Oncoming Storm. The Destroyer of Worlds. The Doctor. Always messing about, never quite closing all the wounds. He hoped that whoever came after him, whoever he became, would be a better man. Less mistakes, less mayhem. A new Doctor. The eleventh time's the charm.

His bones ached, split and healed. Something new grew inside him while he shrank away, fading into the collective consciousness of all the Doctors before him. He thought once more of them, of Rose and Martha and Donna. The most unlikely trio to ever save the world. A shopgirl, a doctor and a temp. Worlds across the stars and through time sang songs of them, remembered them. That was the most important in the end. They deserved to be remembered.

He would, after all, live on for a long time to come.

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**A/N**: Reviews are better than regenerations.


	2. 2 I Don't Want to Go

**A/N**: Part 2. Sort of working backwards from the actual regeneration. Hope you enjoy it. :)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Doctor Who or the lyrics for "Out on the Town".

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_2. I Don't Want to Go_

_I was out on the town  
__So I came to your window last night  
__I tried not to throw stones  
__But I wanted to come inside_

_- Fun._

The TARDIS gave one last shake, and the Doctor tumbled out. Time was slowly ticking away. It wouldn't be long now. He had saved her for last. _Rose_. He wanted her face to be the last he saw before shifting into a new form. Wobbling, he finally found support against a wall. His insides were on fire, and he looked wildly around the area. Where was she? Snow lay thick on the ground, the air was chilly with frost. The Doctor didn't notice. The regeneration energy coursed through his body , and all he wanted was to see Rose one last time.

Finally, he heard her. Her and her mother. He heard them bicker before cheerfully wishing each other a Happy New Year. When she spotted him, he found himself almost unable to talk to her. She didn't recognize him, so at least he got that navigational part right. But that was not important. The important part was that she was _there_. She stood in front of him, alive and so, so beautiful, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold on for dear life. He couldn't of course, he knew that much. The real Rose, the current Rose had a Doctor in her life. Her Doctor had his memories, one heart and the ability to grow old with her.

He found his words again, asking what year it was.

"Blimey, how much have you had? 2005, January 1st."

They hadn't even met yet. They would, in a few months. As Rose walked off, oblivious to the gravity of their brief interaction, he fought to stay on point. TARDIS, regeneration, reset. Game over.

Ood Sigma appeared to him, accompanied by the wondrous song he had heard before, the song of his existence.

"This song is ending, but the story never ends."

He wanted to scream, to tell Ood Sigma. that the story _did_ end. His story ended. In a few moments he would be a new person, and none of his friends would recognize him. He'd have to start over. The TARDIS seemed emptier than ever as he set the controls to take him into space. The Ood song played loudly in his head. He thought once again of his friends, his wonderful makeshift family and all the adventures they'd had. His hands began to glow. Staring ahead, the Doctor imagined Rose standing in front of him, smiling lovingly at him. With trembling voice, he uttered his last words:

_ I don't want to go._

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**A/N:** Reviews are still better than regenerations. ;)


	3. 3 The Lonely God

**A/N**: Ugh, Ten and Rose. So many feels. I watched "Doomsday" again yesterday, because clearly I want to torture my feels.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Doctor Who or the lyrics for "Out on the Town".

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_3. The Lonely God_

_Now I'm causing a scene  
thinking you need a reason to smile  
Oh, no, what have I done?  
There's no one to keep me warm  
- Fun._

There were only memories left now, nothing more. Rose was gone, living a life without him in it in a parallel universe. So close, only a wisp of reality inbetween them, and still so far away. He missed her. There was no point denying it. He had never been good on his own.

He missed her presence, that simple feeling of knowing she was there. It was a feeling that would linger even when she would take an occasional break from the TARDIS and visit her mother. It was a feeling that had said, "I will always come back". He missed their banter, their squabbles (most often when she didn't agree with his methods) and her smiles. That was perhaps what he missed the most, her smile, and by extension how he was able to make her smile.

Like that time they had visited Paris during Napoleon's reign. Rose had been sad, once again missing Jackie and feeling guilty about making Mickey leave. He had taken her hand, dragged her off to court and proceeded with telling Napoleon every short-joke he knew (and they were many). The sight of the portly emperor turning nine shades of rage had finally elicited a smile, followed by a poorly disguised chuckle. His stunt had landed them in prison, but it was nothing the sonic screwdriver couldn't fix.

Who was he gonna cheer up now? What Martha wanted went beyond insulting royalty. The key to Martha's happiness was something he couldn't give. Deep down, he figured, the young doctor Jones knew this. She knew he would never be able to feel for her what he had so obviously felt for Rose. It didn't make things better. It made him feel empty and cold, with nothing, not even a proper friendship to keep his mind off his loss.

The Lonely God. He had found the nickname silly. The only part of that name that he would accept was lonely, and it was a bit of a reach. He had companions. He had the TARDIS. He was not lonely. Or so he thought. Perhaps he was a god, who knew. Bringing down suffering over those who came too close. But in those nights, in his silent hours of missing the girl that was locked away, while another slept soundly in a room down the corridor, he had never felt more lonely.

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**A/N**: Reviews are better than a lonely Doctor. :)


	4. 4 I Don't Do Well On My Own

**A/N**: I have sort of conflicting emotions about Martha, because as much as she was brilliant, her crush on the Doctor kind of irked me (then again, I'm hardcore 10xRose, so...). However, I do feel that the Doctor truly missed her once she left, and that he really does not do loneliness that well.

**Disclaimer**: I still do not own Doctor Who or the lyrics for "Out on the Town".

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_4. I Don't Do Well On My Own_

_And I know I could be more clever  
And I know I could be more strong  
But I'm waiting for the day you come back and say  
"Hey, maybe I should change my mind."_

_- Fun._

She left him. Maybe miss Martha Jones was more clever than he had given her credit for. In the end, she saw life in the TARDIS for what it really was: chaos.

Perhaps it was the right thing to do. Part ways amicably while they still could. Their companionship was not one of mutual friendship. Martha had wanted something more, dreamed of something that could never become reality. He could not love her like she loved him. She had tried to pretend it had only been a temporary thing, but he had seen the way she would look at him, how she would sometimes fuss over him, how her pulse would skip a beat when he'd take her hand.

Martha Jones was a sweet girl.

_Martha Jones was gone._

He had to figure out how to do things on his own again, truly alone, without a partner to run interference for him. He had to get used to the silence in the TARDIS, now that she wasn't there with her music and humming and reading aloud from medical textbooks in the library. He wondered what it would be like to not have a buffer, no one to stop him from going too far.

Funny.

Although his friendship with Martha had been complicated by her unrequited love, he found himself missing her immensely. How did that song go? _"You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone"_. He'd had it and he'd lost it. He wished for it back. Loneliness was not good for him. Maybe that was truly the reason why the TARDIS was designed to be piloted by six people: Time Lords did not do well on their own.

In his loneliest hours, the Doctor wished Martha Jones would come back, that one day she would simply open the doors to the little big blue box and stride in as if nothing had happened. He wished they could put aside the conflicting emotions and go on adventures again. He wished dearly, fervently, _desperately_ for a mate.

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**A/N**: Reviews are better than companions who leave. :)


	5. 5 Hopes and Fears

**A/N**: Thank you tons to Draco'sLoverr for the review, I'm basically jumping in my couch now. Two more chapters after this, and then the story's coming to an end. For this part, I more or less forced myself to think back to "Family of Blood". It's such a tragic episode, and I cried like a baby when I watched it. I may also have been a little teary-eyed when I wrote this.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Doctor Who or "Out on the Town.

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_5. Hopes and Fears_

_I drink a lot, I'm not sure if that's new  
__But these days when I wake up from a night I forgot  
__I just wish that it never came true_

_- Fun._

The Doctor started awake, breaths ragged as he tried to untangle himself from the sheets. It had been the Dream again. He slowly inhaled, listening for signs of having woken Martha. Nothing. No sounds except his own laboured breathing and the wild beating of his hearts. The Doctor buried his face in his hands. This was preposterous. He had fought and defeated the Slitheen, the Krillitane and many more. He had stared down his mortal enemies, the Daleks, without batting an eye... All of these things, and he could still be shaken by something as simple as a nightmare.

In the dream, he was one, alone. Gone were his nine previous lifetimes, all their wisdom and strength. Always running, fumbling in the dark forest. The fear was the worst, clenching its ice cold fingers around his single heart, while a heavy object thudded ominously in his pocket, calling to him in a cacophony of voices only he could hear. In the deepest trenches of the woods, he would stop, warily watching for foes. His hand would accidentally slip into the pocket and touch the cold metal of a watch he had no memory of ever acquiring.

In his dream, he was John Smith again, human and lonely. Scared of the unspeakable things that hunted him, terrified of the consciousness hidden inside the fob watch. There would always come a moment when he would stop running. He would ponder what he was really running from; the enemies behind him or the man he really was. _Time Lord_. Mighty, unafraid and so different, so frightening. His hand would close around the watch, tossing him into the painstaking future that would never be his, no matter if he was John Smith or the Doctor. Against his will, the watch snapped open, and he would snap out of the dream, drenched in cold sweat.

He wished he could forget, that he could undo his own past. Losing Rose had been torture enough. This was just adding another truckload of pain to his already overflowing grief. He had told Joan Redfern that he could be everything John Smith had been. Not exactly true, but not exactly lies.

Hopes and fears of a man who had lost more than most.

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**A/N**: Reviews are better than a scared Doctor. :)


	6. 6 Monster

**A/N****: **Penultimate chapter, I almost don't want this to end. Thank you again to Draco'sLoverr who keeps on making me blush and jump up and down on the couch like the lunatic I really am.

**Disclaimer**: You should all know by now. I don't own Doctor Who or the lyrics for "Out on the Town".

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_6. Monster_

_I knew there'd come a day when all was said and done  
__Everything I was is everything but gone  
__All my big mistakes are bouncing off your wall  
__The bottle never breaks, the sorrow never comes_

_- Fun._

The endgame was inevitable. He knew as much. But... This one was cruel. Companions would come and go, and in a relationship where he was the only constant, the Doctor thought he had gotten used to it. Nine hundred years of travelling, of goodbyes, of leaving, and the Universe still found ways to get to him. Rose, trapped in a parallel universe.

He stared into thin air, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find a way back to Bad Wolf Bay. The rift was closed off, forever. He didn't have time to say goodbye. He didn't have time to say the thing he was burning up a sun for.

_I love you._

Weeks later, when he finally managed to go into her room, he felt like someone had shackled his hearts, slowly pulling him down into the ground. The jacket, the one she forgot, hung limply from his hand. All their adventures, all her things, the unspoken words; they screamed at him. He had expected tears. Being forced to confront her untouched room, having to properly acknowledge that she was gone... He should cry. He didn't. Just like the room, he felt empty. No Rose to full it with life and laughter.

Sometimes he wondered if she would have been better off without him. Yes, her life would probably have ended that night, had he chosen not to save her from the Nestene Consciousness. But put in perspective, would the life she had lived up until then have been a better option than an existence with him in it?

He couldn't even bring himself to joke about it, about how everything he touched sooner or later ended in a disaster he had to sort out. For all the wonderful things they had seen, there had been equal parts danger and monsters.

In the end, the monster that had cost him Rose was himself. He pulled her into the whirlwind of danger and he couldn't keep her safe.

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**A/N: **Reviews are better than a guilt-tripping Doctor. :)


	7. 7 As Long As My Heart Beats

**A/N**: This is it. The seventh and final part. I hope you have all enjoyed the ride, and thank you to Draco'sLoverr for leaving me reviews that make me flail and smile and go all giddy. This chapter might be a little... confusing. Seeing as the scene basically has three Doctors in it, I wanted the narrative to reflect that, hence the weird jumps between POV's.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Doctor Who or the lyrics for "Out on the Town".

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_7. As Long As My Heart Beats_

_So come on, let me in  
I will be the sun  
I will wake you up, I am who I was  
Just open up your heart_

_- Fun._

The strange trio seemed deadlocked in their own little bubble. Rose, literally caught in the middle, looked from one Doctor to the other.

"Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" Donna said, trying to make the blonde realize what was going on.

The second Doctor explained, how he was part human, how they could have a life together because he would grow old. The dance continued. Donna, amidst all the commotion, with synapses firing at Doctor-speed, was still amazed. The Doctor, the real one, was trying so hard to do the only thing that would lead to a happy ending for Rose. Couldn't they see it?

_"When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?"_

It wouldn't make a difference. He knew it all, he had the same memories, he felt the same pain of anguish at the thought of that day. It was not the trick question she had hoped it would be. No one heard what he whispered in her ear, but they all knew nonetheless. The Doctor backed up, quietly walking into the TARDIS, Donna two steps behind. It was still leaving her and never seeing her again. It was still a white hot knife of pain slicing through his hearts. The only comfort he could draw from his pain was that at least Rose was not completely alone. She had a Doctor. It might not be him, but it was the closest thing they'd ever come to being together.

The moment the TARDIS dematerialised was the moment their paths truly divided. Up until then, from the moment he sprung into existence, he had been a duplicate, a perfect mirror image. Not anymore. He took Rose's hand as she stared at the spot where the blue police box had once stood. It would take time. She had been given a second chance at happiness, but she knew that there was still another one of him in the universe next door. No matter. He loved her, with all his heart, with both hearts of his mirror image. He would be everything he had been, everything she needed him to be. He pulled her into a tight hug, whispering in her ear:

"Rose Tyler, I will love you for as long as my heart beats."

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**A/N**: Reviews are better than... No. Let's face it. Nothing is better than the Doctor giving Rose a life with TenToo. But reviews are still appreciated.


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